Just ASK

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the stories you tell yourself as excuses for not accomplishing goals.

There's a similar phenomenon when it comes to relationships; you make up stories about how someone feels about you. Either because you want to avoid confrontation, or because you've assumed what the truth is before you actually know it, and you don't want to be wrong.

Here's an example.

A little while ago, a young guy I know told me he was very nervous because his boss hadn't spoken to him very much recently, and then canceled an upcoming employee review. He thought his boss was trying to ignore him, because he was about to let him go.

I am close with the boss in question, so I called him myself.

“Is something wrong?" I asked. "I don’t want to get in the middle of it, but I know he loves working there..."

"Not at all!" he said. "I’ve been caught up with All-Star Game, and a bunch of other stuff is going on. But I love that guy!”

“He thought you canceled a meeting with him because you didn’t like him.”

"No, that wasn't it. Had nothing to do with him."

Sure enough, a week later, the young guy called me and told me the boss had reached out to him about his concern, and told him everything was fine.

In the space between his boss canceling that meeting, and his boss's reassurance, who knows what stories this guy was telling himself. I'm sure they were quite "creative."

When you get caught up in this storytelling, you let relationships deteriorate when they don't have to!

Not just people at work. Girlfriends, boyfriends. Family members. Whoever.

So think about a relationship that is tense for you right now.

Then consider going up to that person and simply asking:

"Are we okay?"

Because if you don't, and you tell yourself some story, you may well be creating a work of fiction.


1 comment


  • Hello everyone, I am from Wembley, Britain. I want to write this testimony to tell others and thank Dr. Odunga for what he has done for me. The first 12 years of my marriage I had 5 miscarriages and I was called all sorts of names by my mother-in-law and this made my marriage life very hectic and a burden of sorrow. I contacted Dr. Odunga for help and I will say that he is a very strong and honest man and he indeed helped me solve my problem. I saw his email in a testimony and I contacted him, little did I know it would be the end of all my problems. After 2 days of contact, I received a fertility herb and he told me to use it. The herb worked and my husband even loved me more and bought me expensive things. One afternoon, I went to a nearby hospital and came back home with the positive result of my pregnancy and after 9 months I gave birth to a baby boy. Ever since I contacted Dr. Odunga, my story has been different. I have 3 children at present and I am very happy in my marriage. Please, contact him at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Whats App him +2348167159012 to help you too

    Stephanie Sally on

Leave a comment