There's No Scorecard for Relationships

This blog isn’t just a quick, “What Else?” so if you’re in a hurry, save it for later.

I always talk about trust and communication being the keys to a good relationship. When it's all said and done, at the end of our lives, most of us we will be judged by the quality of our relationships. 

So, what the hell does this all mean? How do we measure the communication in relationships? After all, we don't get an account balance that gives us a list of our relationships and scores how we are doing on them (which would be nice)!

We all agree that relationships are important, but it’s the details of the communication in the relationship that make the difference.  The nitty gritty stuff. The little stuff, and how you share it or talk about it. The details are the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Truth is, we would all like to know what our boss really thinks, and what they really think I need to do to get the promotion I want.  Wouldn't it be great to know what your wife or husband really wanted you to do this past weekend, or what they are thinking about becoming an empty nester?   

Well, I wrote about this a while ago: "thinking about something isn't the same as talking about something." What I mean is, how many times have we thought something, and later found we were dead wrong, didn't see it, or just didn't get it? You have to realize that the joy, growth, and best parts of a relationship are in the details when you talk about, argue about, or share something.

I was talking to a manager recently and was explaining he needed to form a better bond with a couple of the key people in his department.  His response was "we text each other over the weekend!" This is something that confuses a lot of people in today’s world.  Texting and emails can't be the real core of a relationship, because it doesn’t provide the opportunity to really connect in a way that a conversation can.          

So maybe take a few minutes with the people whom are most important, like your spouse, coach, boss, and friends, to stop thinking about stuff and start talking about the details.


1 comment


  • This is a fantastic point and look forward to following more insights.

    Jason Adams on

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