NOTE: At the end of this post, I'll tell you the rules for my Fathers Day 2018 Contest: The winner will get to choose between two field-level tickets to a regular season Yankees game in the Bronx (date TBA, travel not included) or a $1,000 donation to your father's favorite charity.
My father died when I was eleven, and was in and out of my life before that, so I don't have too many solid memories of him.
And while I was super close with my mother, I never felt like I knew "the whole story" with her. I think my mom operated under the "I didn’t want to tell you because you weren’t ready" mentality, and we never quite got there.
In anticipation of Father's Day, I've been thinking a lot about what being a father means to me, and a big part of it is sharing as much of my life as possible with my two kids.
This meant bringing them to work as much as was possible (and realistic) while they were growing up, and it also meant letting them have a voice in where we'd go on vacation, or to eat - or any of our family plans, for that matter. And it's meant being open with my children emotionally (within reason of course).
Being a father has also meant passing on "life lessons." I've always emphasized three "golden rules" with my kids:
1. Be a good person to everyone.
2. Be a good brother and son with your family.
3. Do your best in school.
Those were our only "non-negotiable" rules. We drilled them into our kids very early on.
And it's very satisfying to see what generous adults they've become, what good sports they are at all times.
But being a father is not just about how I "parent" my kids; it's also about how they influence me!
My kids, in addition to my wife, serve as my accountability police.
They keep me honest by goofing on me what seems like all of the time. They help me to not take myself too seriously.
It’s good to have people who know you and are completely open and honest with you. Who can critique you.
My daughter often calls me out when I tell her a story: "I can't believe you said that to that person!" (She also helps me dress sometimes.)
For me, the bottom line is that being a father is about more than the love I have for my kids: It's the teaching that only my my wife and I can provide them - and it's the learning that we can only get from them.
FATHERS DAY 2018 CONTEST RULES:
1. Subscribe to this blog by entering your email address > HERE <. (If you're already subscribed, you can skip this step.)
2. Leave a comment in the comments section below, telling me what being a father - or having a father - means to you. If you're reading this from your email, click > HERE < to go to the full blog page on my website and you can leave your comments below.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY! CONTEST CLOSES AT 12:01 AM, EASTERN STANDARD TIME, JUNE 18th, 2018.
CONTEST RULES: By entering your comment, you are agreeing to the following Official Rules: Must be US resident; Must enter by leaving comment in comments section of this post; I retain the right to publicize the names and likenesses of the winner(s); If winner forfeits or does not claim the prize, it will be re-awarded, at my discretion. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.
Song of the Day: "Father And Daughter" by Paul Simon
My Dad took me to my first Yankee Game on Father’s Day in 1982. They lost to the Orioles in extra innings, but that didn’t matter…I was hooked. I’ll never forget seeing that field for the first time. It is magical, as many more talented writers have described…like the first time you see those colors. I grew up loving baseball, the Yankees, in the ‘80s. It was a tough time to be a Yankee fan, but I loved Phil Rizzuto and Don Mattingly and that was it. My Dad wasn’t much of a baseball fan, but he recognized the love that my brother and I had for the game and, within reason, whenever we would ask, he would somehow get tickets and drive us in to the Bronx from Smithtown to see our heroes in pinstripes.
It was about this same time that I began collecting: baseball cards mostly, but gathering autographs really ignited something within me. To have that interaction with a player, no matter how short, was intoxicating. To get them at the ballpark was great, but I would also collect the flyers from the local card shows and save my money for signings in NY city. And sure enough, my Dad would take me. I cherished those weekends: the long car rides into the city, just spending time with my Dad, meeting a baseball hero, and then driving back home. I collected dozens and dozens of autographs, always chasing the next superstar player.
My love for baseball lead me to Cooperstown. I convinced my Dad we needed to attend Induction Weekend. So, in 1989, for the Hall of Fame’s 50th anniversary, we drove up to the hallowed grounds. Yaz and Johnny Bench were inducted that weekend, and if the collecting hook wasn’t already completely in me, Ernie Banks stopped to sign a ball for me that weekend! That was it….I was a Hall of Fame collector from that moment on.
We attended 9 straight Induction Weekends after that, until eventually I graduated from Syracuse University and moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in television. Sadly, my Dad passed away in 2015 from Lou Gehrig’s disease. It was around that time, when I was preparing his eulogy, that I was going through my collection of autographs. What occurred to me was, yeah….I had a pretty impressive collection. But I couldn’t quite remember meeting each and every player. What I could remember was the stories and the trips and my Dad and I shared as we collected those autographs. The pizza place we went to AFTER I met Mickey Mantle at a card show. The traffic we got stuck in and the jokes we told as we were driving home from Cooperstown after seeing Phil Rizzuto inducted into the Hall of Fame. When I was 13, the autographs seemed like the prize. But now, I realize they weren’t. So when I look at my collection now, yeah, sure I think of the amazing accomplishments of the players. But mostly, I think of my Dad and how much he loved me and how much fun we had as I chased those signatures!
Today, the best compliment I can receive is when someone says that I am a great Dad to my own two boys. It often catches me off guard, because I am only doing what my Dad would have done. He literally gave me the playbook of how to be an amazing Dad. Cooperstown is my favorite place on Earth. Not because of baseball, but because I have endless memories of my Dad sacrificing to take us there each summer. I even named my son “Cooper” in tribute!!
Brandon, thanks for sponsoring this contest. If my entry is chosen, I would love to donate the prize to the “ALS Ride for Life.” (https://alsrideforlife.org/). I can assure you, there is no more worthy charity. Founded by another great Dad, the ALS Ride for Life is an amazing Long Island based organization that supports ALS patients and their families. They were a god send to my Dad after his diagnosis and are truly the best people.
And if my entry isn’t chosen, that’s ok too. I’ve had a nice memory of my Dad today just by writing this essay. Thanks.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10100609593177236&set=a.785047092226.2380600.5525644&type=3&theater
I now have 2 fathers I found out this past August that I was adopted at birth. I am 46. My birth father never gave on finding me posting on adoption websites even hiring a PI. When I found out about the adoption from my father who adopted me i had no idea where to start my search. By conincidence I went on a website and out all the info I had in which was my birth moms name. My fathers named popped up with her name with another persons name (which was my name at birth). So I searxed my fathers name and with some help from my friends I was able to come up with a ph# in Texas. I called that number on aug 7th at 7pm. When he answered the ph I asked a couple of quick questions about his history and he actually answered instead of hanging up on me like I was a telemarketer. The last question I asked was do you remember if you had a so. Born in Brooklyn in 1971 and before I got another word out he said at Brookdale hospital I said yes he said I have been waiting for this call for 25 years. So a dad to me is someone who never gives up on their kids and lives them unconditionally whether you are with them or not . Thank you for letting me tell you my story
My dad is very special. He and my mom adopted 11 children after having 5 of thier own. They have shown us the true meaning of parenthood, commitment, and treat each of us children the same. He works very hard and has never asked anyone for help. He deserves all the kudos in the world for providing and caring for all of us. If anyone deserves the recognition on fathers day it is him.
Having a father means everything to me. My dad is the best dad anyone could ask for partly because he’s a yankees fan. But also because he’s kind, caring, loving, and helpful. And i think all dads are this way. Happy Father’s day!!!!
My favorite memory of my father was him actually taking time off of work and going to support me and my friends while we played football on Friday nights . One year after my senior year he passed away from a heart attack he was only 47 years old and not one day goes by where I don’t miss him . Now I coach football myself and I can still hear him from the stands on a Friday night under the lights